March 07, 2005


It's a bad feeling, that sense of having been played, of having been toyed with, used as a trifle, a diversion. We want and need acceptance, to be appreciated and even desired, and go to great lengths to find these things. We open ourselves up to show ourselves worthy, exposing secrets and pains and joys, with the understanding that such exposure is reciprocal, a gift given for our own emotional nudity and vulnerability. We understand that is required, an act of trust and honesty sacrificed.

Knowing in advance that these are the parameters is one thing, as long as all of the parties in the social contract accept them, or at the very least are aware of all of the implications and potentials of that contract. It is quite another to obscure or deny them, especially from one's self.

I suppose most of us don't even realize we are playing ourselves. We fantasize, rationalize, romantisize, compromise, dream of thighs, grasps and sighs, and in the end we realize that the reality bears little if any resemblence to the promise, real or implied.

Posted by Mamamontezz at March 7, 2005 03:59 PM

Welcome to my world. I realized that almost 20 years ago, and made quite a bit of money capitalizing on those tendencies.

Once I decided to no longer play myself, I stopped playing others, and set foot on the long road to happiness.

Posted by: the Humble Devildog at March 7, 2005 09:08 PM

Nice insight. Timeless even. So...let's have it in 18 or 20 lines. Trochaic?

Posted by: Stephen at March 8, 2005 02:34 PM

Nicely done, Mamamontezz. A universal truth is thusly uttered.

Posted by: ZiPpo at March 8, 2005 03:43 PM

Well stated Mama.

Posted by: Jack at March 8, 2005 09:26 PM

I DIDN'T DO IT!!! I've always been nice to you! Well, most of the time anyway.

Posted by: Acidman at March 9, 2005 07:56 AM

Thank you for positing my testimony on this site; I truly appreciate it. I was just wondering if you could add the link to the actual testimony. The author of the article kind of blended their comment with the end of my testimony.

Thanks again,
Jennifer Pease

Posted by: Jennifer Pease at March 14, 2005 11:06 AM

I like your site design

Posted by: Sar-Webdesign at April 30, 2005 01:30 PM
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