Mamamontezz's Mental Rumpus Room

Ice Cream Virgin No Longer

Last night I performed an act I had not yet ever been called upon to perform by any man. It required creativity, stamina, knowlege and a sense of adventure to tread where last night I sallied forth.

I made ice cream.

To be more precise, jane and I made the creamy, thick, sweet concoction from which ice cream is slowly and painstakingly coaxed through a slow, sensual paddling and the application of copious amounts of ice.

Sounds a bit provocative, doesn't it? Well is should. Few culinary delights can potentially delight as many senses as does home made ice cream. Innocent youngsters, world-weary reprobates, saints and sinners, gadflies and warriors, even I imagine Whistler's Mother can find chilled sweet affirmation in a rich spoonful fresh from the churn.

I know that as ice cream goes, I was a bit of a babe in the woods. I had no resevoir of arcane knowledge, no "Gramma's Cookbook" from which to draw down the proper portions for this sinful potion. And the recipes that came in the microscopic owner's manual were just not right, even to a novice. There are just some things that even on the surface look terribly wrong, and these recipes were prime examples of that phenomenon.

What to do? What else is there to do but to go on a massive and moderately funded Web Safari to seek out the best recipes and use them?

Well, none of them was up to snuff either (pretty bad, coming from someone who's never even turned a crank before). I was going to be forced to do the unspeakable and make up a recipe based on what little knowledge I could amass from a selection of lacking recipes, then actually put that recipe to use.

*smiles widely*

"It tastes like a Root Beer Dreamcicle." --jane

If any of you would like this recipe which will make 5 quarts of rich and exceedingly sinful ice cream (4 quarts of mix), look below the fold. You won't be disappointed.

In a big stockpot mix together:

1/2 Gallon Organic Whole Milk, Not Homogenized if you can find it
4 Cups Sugar
1 Quart Half and Half
1/2 Stick of Unsalted Butter

(Yes, I did say Organic. And Not Homogenized. The milk from Trader's Point Dairy is so rich, the cream clots at the top and my is it good.)

Stir it together over a very low heat until the sugar is dissolved and the milk begins to steam just a little. (Don't let it boil, just steam. Boil=Bad.)

In a mixing bowl, whisk together:

10 Egg yolks
5 Whole eggs
Dash of salt
(You can make it with just yolks if you want it richer)

When the eggs are nice and frothy and smooth, take a couple of cups of the heated milk and slowly whisk it into the eggs, whisking constantly to temper the eggs. Then reverse and slowly whisk the eggs into the heated milk mixture.

Heat the egg/milk mixture slowly, stirring constantly with either a whisk or a large spoon, until it thickens into almost a custard.

Remove it from the heat, and when it has cooled a little, add:

1 Quart of heavy cream
3 Tablespoons of Vanilla
Any other flavorings or extracts that you want

You literally could use this right now, but restrain yourself (or have a trusted person who knows your safe word restrain you). Trust me on this. It is good to be patient.

When this has cooled enough, place it in pitchers or a gallon jug and refrigerate it over night before churning to allow the flavors to get all familiar with each other.

This will make just about a gallon of ice cream mix. To make it Root Beer ice cream, I added 2 Tablespoons of Root Beer Concentrate. You can just experiment like mad on the flavors.

Posted by Mamamontezz at June 21, 2006 08:03 PM | TrackBack