April 18, 2005

The weapon: Sex.

Okay, so I'm slow on the uptake sometimes and have to let something simmer for a while before writing. I read the original post on this topic at Acidman's way back in March, and have mulled over his premise in my mind quite a bit over the last several days. After much soul searching and deliberation I have to conclude he is absolutely right.

Yes, I as a woman have used sex as a weapon. I like to believe that unlike some self-serving and controlling women I never used this weapon for evil or to harm any one. I have used it in self-defense on a few occaisions, but have never drawn first. Even then, it happened very rarely and only as a last resort.

Part of this comes from the fact that I tend to see sex more like men do, and less like the majority of women. Sex is recreational, an exercise, an intimate dance, a way of giving pleasure and getting pleasure in return. It's better between friends and almost heaven if that good friend is also your lover, but my genitals are not superglued to my heart. If you want to know what enflames my heart, it isn't the organs betwixt my thighs as much as it is the one between a man's ears.

So yes, I've used sex as a weapon. I used it to convince my husband to take his medication so he wouldn't die back when he was seriously ill and just out of the hospital. I used it to convince him to go to the doctor when his angina was so bad I thought our next nocturnal romp would kill him.

But I have found something interesting about the male during my ponderings. While women do use sex as a weapon, a lot of men use emotion as a weapon in much the same manner. Now, Rob has stated in a post that he never said "I love you" or any variation of that sentiment to get access to a woman's sex, but he is the exception that proves the rule.

There are a lot of bums and cads walking around who would not think twice about it if it meant they would get the sexual gratification they wanted. Done that too, and I admit it freely. Back when I was a newly-outed non-virgin who wanted sex as often as possible, I would cultivate friendships that I knew would lead to sex if I played it right, stroked the right chord, played up the right emotion. And the sad thing about it was, even at their own game, men were easy pickings.

I guess you could say in my past that I was able to play both sides of that fence.

Posted by Mamamontezz at April 18, 2005 09:31 PM

When men like me, get older, that pussy goes west. Sometimes I would rather have a good plate of food and a good movie to watch. When I was younger, that pussy had me by the short hairs, I would do anything for a strange fuck. I still love pussy, but it has no control over me now, I think it gets stronger with age and it sure lasts longer now, Cat

Posted by: catfish at April 19, 2005 08:14 AM

My sexuality is not something that I readily discuss, typically.

Before marriage, I too, "would cultivate friendships that I knew would lead to sex if I played it right, stroked the right chord, played up the right emotion." More often than not, I would pick out the guy, determine what I wanted (sexually), and I got my way. I could play the game better than *almost* any other woman, and certainly better than men could play it themselves.

I have always wanted to be the "good girl," and I have always led people to believe that I was. But to be honest, I was not the "good girl," nor was I a slut, but I have enough experience under my belt to make me dangerous in the bedroom.

I appreciate your down-to-earth, realistic, and honest approach to this issue. It allowed me to face myself, as I am, rather than the "good girl" I was always told that I ought to be.

Posted by: Dana at April 19, 2005 12:15 PM

The whole discussion glides over the fact that most of the time we know damn well we're being played, but "losing" the game is more fun than winning it :)

Posted by: Graumagus at April 20, 2005 09:54 PM

Jumping Jehosephat On A Diesel-Powered Vibrator...the more I get to know you, the more convinced I am that we're the same soul in two different bodies, Mama!

This would be creepy if it wasn't so cool! ;-)


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