February 02, 2005

Oh, the Horror! The Horror!

In a recent developement, CNN has obtained this video capture from a suspected terrorist site claiming responsibility for the taking of beloved bad boy Cartman of South Park fame.

The terrorists, who giggled incessantly during the video, have declared Cartman was taken hostage as an enemy of the Cartoon Network, and will be erased within 48 hours unless Special Ops Cody is released by a rival terrorist group. They also demanded a later bed time on weekdays and less homework at IPS 108, a junior high school located in Indianapolis, Indiana.

One of the terrorists, who called himself Eddy Obi Ben-Wan-Kenobi, read from a prepared statement, while Cartman could be heard cursing in the background at two other terrorists, also named Ed.

Representatives from the Comedy Channel could not be reached for comment, but former cast member Towelie did confirm that Cartman had been approached recently by persons claiming to be from the USO for a tour which was to include Newark, NJ, Baghdad, and Mosul.

"Like, we all told him not to go to Newark. Look at what happened to Jimmy... Jimmy... Oh, you know, that guy who they never found a loooong time ago," stated Towelie. "Even Chef told him it was a really bad idea."

Posted by Mamamontezz at February 2, 2005 03:10 AM

LMAO. I just hope this fake video shit isn't the new norm. I also hope that any american that produces/distributes any of these false images/videos should be prosecuted for aiding the enemy.

SlagleRock Out!

Posted by: SlagleRock at February 2, 2005 07:39 PM

At least they didn't kill Kenny!

Posted by: Tina at February 2, 2005 09:30 PM

Yep, compared to Newark, Baghdad and Mosul are a walk in the park.

Posted by: Jim - PRS at February 4, 2005 01:30 AM
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