Mamamontezz's Mental Rumpus Room

Porn Thoughts.

I was reading Lollygaggin and found something to share today. Not just her post, but my ideas on it as well.

Porn. Specifically the free stuff that pops up any time you do a google search with out their "Safe Search" option engaged. I truly believe you could google images for "Mother Teresa" and find free porn, as well as several pay sites.

Sure, it makes it hard when I have a 10yr old who likes to surf on her own, or shoulder surf while I'm online working on a banner or building a site for someone. I've had to chase her off more than once, and I always feel bad when I do that, because she's just trying to have some Mommy Time™ on my few days off from my Real Job™ in the evening. And it can be the most innocent of searches. Think it's safe to Google for pictures of Rottweilers? Think again.

Anyway, having it pop up unbidden can be more than an annoyance, but what about porn in the right context? I don't find a thing wrong with it. Skin is skin, nekkid is nekkid, and sex is sex. And actually, I tend to be more visually oriented than the Spousal Unit, so I tend to actually go look for it more often than he does. It's probably the same mental twist that I use when I draw or paint or sculpt.

I look at bodies, singularly or matched in couples or groups, and I see skintones, patterns, contrasts, textures and shadows. Sometimes these elements come together in a total image that is pleasing and inspiring. Well composed and well photgraphed subjecs, even grotesques, can be beautiful and compelling. Often times however, they are merely tittilating, and I see nothing wrong with that.

O'Keefe

The Unablogger used to post some of the most beautiful photos I've ever seen. I enjoy looking at Mapplethorpe photos as much as Ansel Adams. I have found that a Georgia O'Keefe landscape or floral can be as erotic and stimulating any nude. Does that make me a pervert? Perhaps, to some people it does, but I don't see it like that. I see it more an appreciation of and a love of life, beauty, truth, and love. Yes, sure, I can be a Bohemian at heart. God forbid a conservative would look at things like that.

Mapplethorpe

I have no complaint over porn, free or otherwise, except that there just isn't enough of it of any quality. The quirky, poorly lit but honest amateur pieces are often better than what we see coming out of the Smut Factories these days. Professionally produced film makers, trying to cash in on the popularity of amatuer videos, have lowered production values and forsaken scripts to emulate the personal intimate videos that couples make for themselves or to share. Sadly, these professionally produced films can't give us what the amateur films have: Honesty, emotion, real intimacy, spontaneity, and a genuine slice of life.

But what of Real Time porn? What of porn generated in the moment for only one person, the person with whom you find yourself talking intimately in an instant message? The Webcam allows anyone to generate personal, private, intimate porn instantly. It lets you do and say things for a lover, a friend, even a stranger a world away. You can explore your own sexual psyche in absolute privacy and still share both your search and your discoveries with that other person.

I have found, through my webcam, that I am not much of an exhibitionist, but that I am a much more voyeuristic woman than I originally had given myself credit. And the game of suggesting activities via the keyboard, or providing written stimulation to the visible partner is almost as erotic and fulfilling as seeing the culmination, the grand vista of fruition framed briefly on the monitor. And, as in Real Life™ there is no replay button for what you have seen or done. When it's gone, it is gone.

There is no reliving the moment except in memory. There are no polaroids hidden in a drawer or video tape in the nightstand. There is only your memory until the next time you find yourself, late at night or mid-afternoon, touching each other by touching yourself at a desk with a small, unobtrusive camera. It is at once forbidden, delicious, and exhilerating. It is fantasy and reality in a strange dance. What you see is real, actual, without pretense, but you can take those images and weave them into anything you want or need at that moment. It is a gift that by it's nature can never be given again, making it precious in it's transcience.

Posted by Mamamontezz at January 1, 2005 09:21 AM