December 12, 2004
Twelve Days of Christmas, Baghdad Style.
I can imagine how nice it must be to get packages during the Christmas season when you are in a strange land 7 times zones away from home, in the middle of a mucky, cold, sandy place, where the citizens don't celebrate Christmas and the high point of any day is a toss-up between a nap, dinner, or the arrival of the mail.
So in honor of the thousands of intrepid warriors overseas today, I offer you the Twelve Days of Christmas, Baghdad style.
On the First day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
A cute little Christmas Tree.
On the Second day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
Two pounds of fudge,
And a cute little Christmas Tree.
On the Third day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
Three dozen stamps,
Two pounds of fudge,
And a cute little Christmas Tree.
On the Fourth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
Four X-box games,
Three dozen stamps,
Two pounds of fudge,
And a cute little Christmas Tree.
On the Fifth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
Five DVD's,
Four X-box games,
Three dozen stamps,
Two pounds of fudge,
And a cute little Christmas Tree.
On the Sixth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
Six packs of Marlboros,
Five DVD's,
Four X-box games,
Three dozen stamps,
Two pounds of fudge,
And a cute little Christmas Tree.
On the Seventh day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
Seven cute, new photos,
Six packs of Marlboros,
Five DVD's,
Four X-box games,
Three dozen stamps,
Two pounds of fudge,
And a cute little Christmas Tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
Eight censored Hustlers,
Seven cute, new photos,
Six packs of Marlboros,
Five DVD's,
Four X-box games,
Three dozen stamps,
Two pounds of fudge,
And a cute little Christmas Tree.
On the Ninth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
Nine pre-paid phone cards
Eight censored Hustlers,
Seven cute, new photos,
Six packs of Marlboros,
Five DVD's,
Four X-box games,
Three dozen stamps,
Two pounds of fudge,
And a cute little Christmas Tree.
On the Tenth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
Ten on-line hours,
Nine pre-paid phone cards
Eight censored Hustlers,
Seven cute, new photos,
Six packs of Marlboros,
Five DVD's,
Four X-box games,
Three dozen stamps,
Two pounds of fudge,
And a cute little Christmas Tree.
On the Eleventh day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
Eleven perfumed letters,
Ten on-line hours,
Nine pre-paid phone cards
Eight censored Hustlers,
Seven cute, new photos,
Six packs of Marlboros,
Five DVD's,
Four X-box games,
Three dozen stamps,
Two pounds of fudge,
And a cute little Christmas Tree.
On the Twelth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
Twelve bags of Snickers,
Eleven perfumed letters,
Ten on-line hours,
Nine pre-paid phone cards
Eight censored Hustlers,
Seven cute, new photos,
Six packs of Marlboros,
Five DVD's,
Four X-box games,
Three dozen stamps,
Two pounds of fudge,
And a cute little Christmas Tree.