October 30, 2004

Breaking News

Commissar Rescued In Daring
Early Morning Raid By Pajamahadeen

It was the stuff of big budget action movies today when the Commissar was rescued from himself and from a previously unknow group of Blog Terrorists today in an Entebbe type raid by the Pajamahadeen.

Lead by Kim du Toit, the intrepid group of nightwear-clad bloggers rappelled from a Vietnam War era surplus Huey onto the roof of the Commissar's dacha in an early morning raid timed to catch his guards unaware. It is believed that he was actually sleeping after a night of Pythonesque torture by members of a little know faction of satire-challenged bloggers known as the Axis of the Humorless.

"It was rough," commented longtime rifleman du Toit. "We thought we'd lost him for a bit when he wouldn't respond, but we realized he's just an extremely deep sleeper."

"When we figured out he was just sleeping, the Mrs. and her sidekick Serenity over there just hauled him out and harnessed him up for evac."

The Pajamahadeen, trained and armed by du Toit and John of Aarrgghhh, has shown itself to be a major fighting force, and has begun to build a reputation as both determined and accurate in pursuit of their targets. Recent targets have included Dan Rather, the UKGuardian, Sandy Berger, Michael Moore, and current Democrat presidental ticket. This was their first attempt at a blog-rescue.

"Yes, we understood the risks involved in this and determined that it was time to put it on the line for a fellow co-conspirator," stated Airborne advisor and jump-leader Blackfive. "If our undercover man, George Turner, hadn't intercepted that communique from the insidious Puppy Blender™ to his minions in the DU, we may never have had this window of opportunity. The Commissar would still be under liberal control, or worse."

"It's bad enough constantly fending off DOS attacks, trolls and comment spammers from the Loony Left," continued Lord and Tyrant Spats, "but when they take advantage of a blogger who takes himself hostage, and then torture him in an attempt to drain him of any sense of humor, well, that's where I draw the damned line."

Casualties were light among the Axis of Humorless terrorists who insisted on being called "freedom fighters" when the military police arrived. "We see this a lot with these f*cking liberal sh*ts," stated combatarms instructor and team sniper Slaglerock, as he and his crack tactical team placed them in custody. "No f*cking brains or the sense God gave a goat. Probably not one combined brain between the whole sorry lot of them."

Other members of the Pajamahadeen involved in the raid included TacJammer of Intel Support, Baldilocks of Air Support, Blackjack, Pharmaceutical Expert GOC in Winston-Salem, Bill Faith of Engineering, Natasha of the Accomplished Cussing Division, Velociman from the Sustained Disdain Group, DokRussia on Medical Detail, and former Marine StraightWhiteGuy who spent most of the raid interrogating the female terrorists and asking them to wear bunny ears and fluffy tails.

The Commissar was taken to an undisclosed location for debriefing after the raid, and is expected to return to his dacha within several hours. Also removed from the site were several cases of vodka and one shotglass. No explaination for the seizure was given by the Pajamahadeen.

Posted by Mamamontezz at October 30, 2004 09:32 PM

Who? What? Now I'm all confused.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at October 31, 2004 02:09 AM

Hmm...a mission. Let me see the card:

Mission objective: annoy Atrios

OK...count me in!

Posted by: Blackjack at October 31, 2004 08:00 AM

Scurrilous Infidels!
I curse you twice, spit once and turn in circles,
He was about to CRACK

Moonbat Brigade
3rd Div. Axis of the Humourless

Posted by: Zut Alors at October 31, 2004 11:59 AM

.. bunny ears, and a tail, or you get Lynndie'd... sounds about right...

Posted by: Eric at October 31, 2004 12:27 PM

Here in the blog-free zone I've been inhabiting, I missed the report of our raid.

Boy, our security sucks!

Must be those damn embeds...

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at October 31, 2004 05:48 PM

Hell, they needed TWO Hueys to rappel my fat ass, but apart from that, it's a pretty true account.

The Mrs. wouldn't give me the keys to her Suburban, because we'd just had it washed -- hence the choppers.

Posted by: Kim du Toit at November 1, 2004 07:42 AM

Great stuff glad I found your blog.

Posted by: Kari Holtz at November 1, 2004 07:56 AM

Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt. William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), "Measure for Measure", Act 1

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