July 08, 2004

Grant Application Needed

Yes, I need to whip-off a quick grant application to the National Endowment for the Arts for a performance art project I'd like to have done at the DNC Convention in a couple of weeks.

Yes, my artistic juices are flowing fast and furious. I envision a piece so edgy, so avant-garde, so In-Your-Face that the NEA would jump at the chance to sponsor it! It should be easy to do with about $20,000. Chump-change for the NEA.

Imagine, if you will, Emperor Misha, trussed in a straight jacket made of desert camo canvas. Afix him to a 2-wheeled hand truck, the kind appliance delivery people use with the thick straps. The handtruck must be painted glossy black with no distinguishing markings. Stealthy. Sexy. Discreet. Terribly Hannibal Lector.

Attached to the handtruck is a platform for his laptop with WiFi, microphone, and voice recognition program for blogging in real time. Also, into this laptop is a video feed.

Pushing this handtruck is none other than Natasha, G.L.O.R. and I.P.P.W. She will be dressed in a pair of extremely short shorts and an IDF t-shirt, over which she will be covered by a burqa. She will both push Misha about on the handcart and uulate at will. She will also verbally abuse anyone with feathers hanging from their ears, multi-colored hairwraps, white women with dreadlocks, and anyone vaguely smelling of patchouli.

Completing the cast will be Delftsman, the Spousal Unit. He will wear a fat-suit and a Michael Moore mask with a ballcap which bears the word "Noodle" on the front, and carry a video camera. In this costume, he will film/broadcast the performance via the laptop.

Misha, Natasha, and Delfts will perform from the floor of the DNC convention in Boston.

I think the NEA will love this. If this doesn't meet some criteria, such as an absence of urine or fecal matter, I'm sure we could work some in. Natasha could scare some out of the kool-aid drinkers who come up to harass them. I'm pretty sure that would count.

Anyone know how we can get this grant in time? Because if we can't, we can always send them to Kerry's election night concession party. That would almost be as good but would probably cost much more. Say, $100,000 because we'll need a black tie and tuxeod straight jacket. It could work. Doncha think?

Posted by Mamamontezz at July 8, 2004 12:01 AM

You've painted an awsome picture, worthy of an Oscar. Don't be shy when asking for that grant, a hundred grand is chump change when you're dealing with the likes of the NEA. Think Big, add some more zeroes after the big numbers. Good luck too.

Posted by: Jack at July 8, 2004 11:04 AM


Regarding the newest ruling on the Pat.Act:it really fucking pisses me off.
I work in a library. People do research on all
kinds of things, for academic purposes, for
personal research. I have read Mein Kompf. Does
that make me a Nazi? No! I read it because I wanted to look at the bs from the horses mouth.
We no longer have a democracy. We have a dictatorship supported by thoecratic neo-cons.
The only way to fix this is to wise up and support
libertarian minded people. Don't misunderstand me.
I didn't say liberals, or democrats. I mean people
who appreciate having personal liberties. Piss
on the parties. they have really helped us out,

Come together, right now...

Posted by: cb at July 9, 2004 12:42 PM

poker me up

Posted by: poker me up at December 30, 2004 02:41 PM

In the consciousness of the truth he has perceived, man now sees everywhere only the awfulness or the absurdity of existence... and loathing seizes him.

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