Mamamontezz's Mental Rumpus Room

Survivor: Blogosphere!

John of Right Wing News has a post up offering his list of the ten bloggers he would want with him if stranded, I assume, on an island.

(Cue Theme Song)

Survivor: Blogosphere! Brought to you this evening by Mamamontezz's Mental Rumpus Room, your online shop for Genuine Rumpus.

1. Why, Emperor Misha, of course. Every group of island-dwelling, Moonbat-whacking misanthopes needs it's very own Benevolent Despot, and I can think of none better. Ready for anything, skilled with Cluebat™ and firearm, and can cuss as well as I can. And he has such a cute accent. What's not to like?

2. Natasha the Troll Basher. Smart, witty, armed, gorgeous, and qualified to wear the Tanktop of Doom™ which is something I will never be. She can mince, slice, dice, fry, dye, and lay to the side any troll she meets, and never break a sweat.

3. BC of the VRWC. Okay, so his own blog tanked. But his guest posts on the Rottie are Verbal Abuse as Art. And he likes to burn things and knows about which vegetation is edible and which you leave for the Moonbats. Not to mention that he's good with snakes of many varieties, and his p0rn collection would cause no end of snickers, giggles, chortles, and guffaws. Beats ghost stories around the campfire. (heh heh, I said "beat")

4. Serenity, even in her current state of physical compromise. Yes, the island will be Crutches Friendly, and her kitty will have fun with all the rodents. Hell yes, bring the pets. Why not? I'll even bring her canine daughter, Pandora, whom I adopted last fall.

5. Sir George Turner must be included, as he is truly the smartest man I know, and if anything needs McGyvered while we're there, he can do it. Plus he has many firearms to play with along the beaches. Not to mention that his song-spinning skills are legendary and would keep us entertained for hours. Perhaps even weeks.

6. Darth Monkeybone. Don't let that wild verbage fool you. He's quite the Gallant. And you never know when you're going to need an Evil Sithmonkey around. He could avert a Simian Invasion from the surrounding jungles, subjugate the defeated survivors, and train them to make sammichs. It could happen.

7. Aaron, the Rantblogger, just because there's so much I want to talk to him about. And because my island has electricity and full cable access, he has to teach me how he does those great photoshop pieces. And I'll let him play with my guns.

8. Chelle, because I'm sure she'd enjoy it. And because I'm sure she'd make for some pretty spirited arguments.

9. Okay, okay, I'd bring the Spousal Unit too, even though it will mean needing a sitter for who knows how long, and that could run into some money. If I didn't bring him, he'd pout and carry on for months. Good thing Chelle's coming with. She can help me keep his sorry ass in line. And he'll like it. He has his orders.

10. You're going to think I've lost my mind. But think about it: semi-naked (okay, in a diaper), tied in spread-eagle between four well-paced, supple, and stout saplings. The ropes are taut, and his ass is just touching the sand. Every night, as the tide comes in, so do the crabs. Hungry, pinching, mean little crabs. Yes, you've got it, I'd bring Michael Moore-on for the hours of entertainment his presence would provide. We wouldn't have to feed him much because of his ample stores, and if we were forced to leave the island, he would double as the outrigger on any palm canoe or raft we built. Yeah, we'd probably have to duct-tape his yap shut, but it would be worth it. And no, there's no link to him here, because I don't want him to gain any traffic, however small, from my humble little blog. I do, however, love the Cox and Forkum take...*smirk*

Of course, there's bloggers-a-plenty on the reserve list in case any one of these couldn't make it, job obligations and such being what they are. But wouldn't this be a fun group? I sure think so. I'm just trying to figure out how to get Steve there to brew hooch for us. And MadfishWillie needs to make my PinaColadas. And Jay needs to be my eye-candy! Not to mention Donnie for recon, and Matt for jumping out of perfectly good airplanes, and... (are you seeing a trend here, folks?) Oh, the list may never end!

And I want no guff about not bringing enough fellow female bloggers. You want more women? Find your own damned island.

Side note: Funny how trackback seems so "selective..."

Posted by Mamamontezz at April 20, 2004 12:07 AM